i wish i had a time machine.

i don't want to go back in time.
i don't want to go forward in time.
i just want it to stop.
and i want a fake id.

soooo.. i survived my first weekend as a working girl. i must say, it's not as bad as i thought.

ANECDOTE TIME:

preface to anecdote:
everyone knows i got fired from my first job at tropical smoothie cafe 3 days after being hired. no, i was NOT or AM NOT incompetent. the girl who hired me was the young, excited niece of the new owners. it was a new business and she hired 20 teenagers, which was a mistake. she ended up firing 11 of them, one of whom was me. besides the point, the third day i worked, the two girls i worked with thought they were the shit and tried making me look bad. for instance, they would make me make a random ass smoothie when no one was even in the restaurant. two seconds later, after they saw i had turned my back, in my peripheral view, i saw them take the smoothie to my manager and have her try it to see how crappy it was. dumb hoes. the last i saw one of them, she was working at target and i sure as hell gave her a dirty look.


anyway, from that day forward, i had a fear that girls would treat me like shit because they thought they were better than me. guys never treated me like that, but girls did. working at forever21 scared the shit out of me. little do they know that the only reason i have no work experience is because.. well, SORRRRRRY that they can't say they volunteered at the most prestigious hospital in the nation, maintained a 4.0 gpa throughout high school, and got pretty much a full ride to a fifty-thousand dollar school. those bitches are back at cerritos.

but surprisingly, i love forever21. it's hard work on my feet, but the girls are really sweet. except this one girl who was being sooooo shady to me. or as people in the bay say, "sheisty".

so i'm doing my thing in my zone. on the first two days, everyone is just supposed to organize the hangers but not put things back from the dressing rooms because they don't know where the hell anything goes yet. THISSSSS BITCH tries to talk down to me saying "next time..." and blah blah mothafucken blah. her friend asks me for the manager and i didn't know it was her friend, so i try directing her. that bitch once again chimes in and says "no. let her find the manager herself." so i'm like HELL NO i'm not gonna let this girl talk crap to me just because i'm new. so i say "umm.. i JUST applied. i know what it's like to want a job already." asian bitch pulls her friend aside, talks crap about me, walks back to our zone.

later on, this ghetto girl i work with asks me how i like it. she asks me "how is it going? do you like it? is anyone being mean to you?" so i told her... and she told my manager... that girl had MY BACK FOR SURE. my manager pulled me aside and told me not to worry because everyone should feel welcome working there. she was really sweet. my managers are tight.

anyway, all of a sudden... asian bitch tries being all nice to me. TOO FUCKING BAD I FOUND OUT SHE'S A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL.

aka, lesson learned for her: don't think you're hot shit. i'm 2 years older than her, and she tried to talk down to me. wow.





anywayyyy...

i've been working so much that i felt really nervous about my math quiz tomorrow. but then i prayed about it and got a tutor and now i think i'm okay. pretty much, ega, the accounting major from thailand, is my mothafucken hero. the end.

i don't need another HALF to make me WHOLE.

putting off math homework once again.
oh well, i'm gonna be home all weekend, so i'll get to it eventually.

i must say, lil wayne is amazing. the end.

ohhh and tomorrow is my last day to drop ballet, so i hope i don't fucking need it because i'm 75% sure i'm going to do it.

thank God it's the weekend.

death is not the battle; it's the anticipation that kills you.

i am officially a sales associate of Forever 21, San Francisco.
i already know i won't like it, but whatever.
one of the top three in the nation.
150+ employees.
25 million dollar store.
$10/hr.
let's see how long i last. i hope i won't get fired after:

- i want to go home for a whole weekend the weekend of october 18;
- i want to go to santa barbara for halloween weekend;
- i'm home for 5 days on Thanksgiving;
- i'm home for a MONTH for Christmas;

but they have seasonals for that, right?

the second i find an on campus job, sorry people. no discounts for you. i'm quitting.

anyway, last night was absolute death.
i keep forgetting i can't handle 9 shots of vodka.
i don't think i'll be drinking for a while.
my champ status to down them is back, but my ability to hold it in is not.

and i'm officially homesick. i know that the second i come home, i'll be happy, but if i'm there for more than a month, i'll go crazy. i love being away from home, but then again, not. i don't know what i want right now. i guess i just miss my mom and dad because i haven't spoken to them since saturday. i'd be a mess without them and i realize it day after day. eek, once the bills come in, i'll be pretty stressed.

Thank God it's Thursday.

TO ALL THE IMMATURE BOYS OUT THERE:

if you are one of the following, please read:

- you read messages on myspace, but choose not to respond, even when i have apologized.
- you say you like me, but don't respond to my texts, thanks.
- you feed me lines like "hey boo" and "i miss you".
- you are simply an asshole in general.

girls don't like games and only play them because you do. except for me. i'm a straightforward kind of girl and it's funny how i can move 400 miles away and the drama still follows me.

i hate math homework.

anyway, i joined the 9pm choir and love it. gospel singing tomorrow. :) good night.

charmed.

"I believe in pink.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that HAPPY GIRLS are the PRETTIEST GIRLS.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
[Audrey Hepburn]

I wish time would stand still and I could do it all.

Russian Roulette.

Maybe there's a reason Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte only have each other.

Ross, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey.

Tibby, Lena, Carmen, Bridget.

Lucy, Ricky, Ethel, Fred.

In THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA, Andy Sachs left her simple life to pursue fashion and realized what appeared to be gold was actually rust and imitation. Who will I be? Andy Sachs or Miranda Priestly?

home is where the HEIST is.

Why is it that we only have to miss things when they are gone, appreciate them when we don't have them, and disregard them when we see them? Starbucks nights. trips to Alameda. Jack in the Box at 3 am. unfolding the bed. singing at 5pm mass. ghetto park. In N' Out. Mom's rice cooking. noisy neighbors. Rest assured, I'm happy. I'm growing up, working hard, but wondering... when I get my bachelor's... then what? What's in the plan for me? Who's in my future? Is this what it's like to be scared, excited, and intimidated by the future?

Okay this is way too dramatic for me. good night. :)

when in doubt............. pray.

Ur So Gay is an interesting little song.

soooo i think i'm finally letting my guard down and trying to make new friends. I went with my gut today and sat with a girl and made a new friend.. who is the besttttt, by the way. junior transfer from Whittier College. told me about a sushi place back home that doesn't card. :) and she has an apartment and always has kickbacks and we're pretty much hospitality soulmates.

then i went and hung out with sarah, quinn, rachel, amber, and amanda. sake tomorrow!



FOR THE RECORD, I'M NOT MOTHAFUCKEN BISEXUAL. Thanks. Hospitality is in my culture. deal with it.



Anyway, I know that in the end, they'll be there. you know, the ones that matter. :)

some people

sleepwalk through life and don't even know they're sleeping...





until someone wakes them up.

GAME ON, BITCHES.

i've learned my lesson:

ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THE HOMEWORK AND NOT THE HOUR BEFORE.
whatever. if i fail this first homework assignment, at least i tried. i know for next time and i'm going to keep my game up. i refuse to fail any class or let my GPA go down!! grrr. math is hard. :(

rest in peace kenny, 3rd floor. you will be missed and i will pray for the repose of your soul as well as for your family.

so... who's gonna watch paris hilton's my new bff?! :)

to my second father, sunny michael.

here is a poem dedicated to you:

Sunny Michael, how I long to see your face,
the fact that you cannot be here is quite a disgrace.
I miss hugging you and your cute little belly,
without you, i'm like peanut butter with no jelly.
if only i could see your beautiful smile,
i would walk home the whole 400 miles.
you are the one who fills my heart's content,
you are definitely an angel-- heaven sent.
come visit me and cook me a meal so hearty,
and while you're at it, bring da sharty.
holding back tears is putting up a fight,
but i will save them for the day we reunite.

i love you, babyboy.

your forevers usually mean never.

just because i'm not in love doesn't mean i don't know it when i see it, or in this case, know when it isn't there.

why is my internet being a bitch again? USF has max security, yet step 5 feet from the campus, you risk getting mugged.

have a jolly weekend.

The finest steel

has to go through the hottest fire.

when life hands you limes...

down your shot and take your salt like a man.


today was the worst day ever.
same outfit as venice, pretty much the same situation.
only this time i was alone.
i experienced my first swoop.
some heartless fiend took my license, debit card, and usf ID, which contained:

- my meal card
- my KEY to my room
- my KEY to my building
- my school debit card
- MY IRREPLACEABLE MUNI BUS/TRAIN CARD

i was so heartbroken and upset. but then I realized, shit happens. I can sit and dwell, or I can get over it, fix the situation, and move on with my life. Which is exactly what I did. I guess that whoever has my shit is in more dire need than me and I hope God blesses that person.

anyway, i'm exhausted. the Bay gets me that way.

just another girl on her blackberry.

deng, class is somewhat challenging, but school is truly hard.







and every day, I thank God that it is the worst of my problems. I refuse to let money, men, or my self-esteem be reason enough to stir my emotions.